just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
