so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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