i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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