I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
