I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
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I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
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I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.