stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..