pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought