This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Randomize
