ADVERTISEMENT

• (810): View more from Michigan

  I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

  Fav 1 1813 728

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  can u grab me a application

  Fav 11 2979 664

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  ...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...

  Fav 14 6394 1206

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

  Fav 12 4193 1512

  share tweet
  
• 

  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have a broken liver

  (1-575): View more from New Mexico

  I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.

  Fav 2 1485 845

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke

  Fav 1 683 1488

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.

  Fav 1 1087 584

  share tweet
  

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.

  Fav 1 677 521

  share tweet
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.

  Fav 4 978 633

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.

  Fav 2 907 476

  share tweet
  

• (661): View more from California

  Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.

  Fav 2 692 1020

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.

  Fav 2 656 366

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records

  Fav 3 593 381

  share tweet
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad

  Fav 3 389 617

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.

  Fav 2 343 495

  share tweet
  

Randomize