i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??