literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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