He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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