And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He? As in you personified your dick?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
