yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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