just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
