I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
