Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
