he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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