the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
