It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
