rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
