the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
