...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
