Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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