I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
