I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I had to cum in my sink.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
