Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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