My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
