I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
