I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
