The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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