she looked like the before picture.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
