The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
