Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
