i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
