YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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