the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize