I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
