This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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