Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i think i just lost a toe
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
