I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I lost the right to judge tonight
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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