they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
