Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
