hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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