That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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