Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
