We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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