i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
