The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
