Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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