There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
