I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
