what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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