he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Randomize
