i permit you to call me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have grass duct taped all over my body
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
