Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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