I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you made out with another girl for some wings
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
