nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
