I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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