I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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