I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
