sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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