You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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