I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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