Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
