hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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