just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
