One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
