I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
